The day after two drug full days: 2:25 AM I am up like a clockwork last few nights.
I can choose to be resentful and frustrated. I choose to embrace it. I’m in our comfortable bed and not feeling too queasy. I am grateful for that. I will make friends with you, the waking one.
Time is a funny thing. Perception is everything. Time in our head can be so abundant or so scarce. I noted that cancer does one thing very well – it focuses you on what truly matters and I find that time is just perfect. Not too much, not too little:
Having loved,
Having been loved,
Having touched people’s hearts,
Having been touched by people,
People mattered to me,
I mattered to them,
Without death,
Life isn’t precious.
Not that I lived my life regrettably never
But I did my best under the circumstance.
I was given many blessings
Along with some significant deficiencies including arrogance
I knew and believed only so much then to make the decisions that I made,
Just like I know only so much now to think what I think,
So there, it wasn’t a perfect life that I lived, but also had no big regrets,
I am okay with all the learning that I received from those mistakes.
I wonder if I will be of service to the world if I live on. Do I have the stuff to give to make a positive impact on this world?
I say, “Yes!”
So I soldier on, shaken or not.
