My stomach was acting up from who knows which drug as I’ve taken six different ones during chemo session two. An overactive digestive system is one of the side effects of the treatment: I’m constantly hungry – growlingly hungry. I eat a bowl of soup and five minutes later my stomach is growling for more and I am hungry again. The constant nagging for food is draining. With a new backache and muscle aches in addition to my acid reflux, the evening starts challenging my wits. It’s time to sleep now and we are lying sideways face to face trying to get control over the situation. My temperature is up, I am shivering and my stomach is like a kid who is wailing for attention. I fear the worst of the night. Whimper softly. Tears leak from my eyes. I don’t need to cry much but need to release the tension. With it, the calm sets in. We decide on three measures – Tums, Tylenol and a sleeping pill. One after another, we wait for them to take effect. Shivers subside, then the lower back muscles ease. That is when we start laughing our heads off – because of what Hakan just said: “My forehead is a tiny bit sore and my leg itches and nobody is paying attention to that”. We hold hands now both curled up in our respective favourite sleeping positions. I count my blessings starting with the obvious– you, my dearest biggest blessing of my life, your levity, your eternal and unconditional love and yes, your patience…..and I drift into blissful sleep.
