Some friendships are steady and solid. We are so powerfully connected, and love is real and present in our midst all the time. Even if we don’t see each other for some time, we know deep in our hearts that friendship is fulfilling and profoundly satisfying. We’ve got each others’ back.
Some friendships have a bit of secondary nature to our primary focus. Unless events or specific needs bring us together, there is this tentativeness about it. It’s like canned foods that we picked up with good intention to use but which got shelved and are now gathering dust in the cupboard. One day a new recipe is discovered and this particular can of beans will come in handy. It might even be exciting. The pervasive tone though is tentative and casual.
I’ve never been keen on shelved friendships. Is it because I am Korean? My understanding of my culture is that we value and treat friendships as on parr with family or often even more important than blood relatives. Maybe it is just one of my core values and preference for having deeper, more connected relationships.
We all have relationships that were formed because we were in the same place and at the same period of time. We might have been allies at school and work, great colleagues, or even mentors/mentees. When the environment changes, some relationships don’t hold, losing the fertile ground. Life moves on and so does the relationship – we need new allies fitting the new environment.
In my meditation, I often observe my mind dwell on those past relationships. Sometimes it is a sense of loss and sometimes even a hint of resentment. Nothing is permanent and I accept the transient nature of things. Peace comes upon me. So dear ones, once close, now no longer, may you find nurturing soil, surrounded by companion trees that support and cheer your growth, and may you receive lots and lots of sunshine.
Then I get overwhelmed by the love for our friends. Sincere hearts that I receive through chats, zoom calls and in person, I have received during this cancer journey. How blessed I feel to have those friends on this journey with me. Their genuine care beats like a heart – steady and regular. So present, so life-sustaining and affirming. It has been a long-time routine for Håkan and I to contemplate our gratitudes right after our morning meditation. I count my blessings and I send my appreciation to the universe for our friends.
